A Time of Unlearning

“Things happen to help you get rid of the parts of yourself that aren’t you; to help you be more real and more yourself, not like everyone else; to help you lead a more authentic life; and ultimately to help you discover who you really are.” Mira Kirshenbaum

In 2017 I had my first introduction to the three principles of Mind, Consciousness and Thought, as articulated by Sydney Banks. He explained how these are fundamental truths of how we experience life and that we all have innate well-being, with our most natural state being one of love, peace and light-heartedness. It was a time of unlearning.

Know that this state of being is available to all, and we have the capacity to return to this state, the one before our intellect, our experiences in life, our learning and our belief systems. This natural state of being gets hidden when we ruminate over the past or worry about our undetermined future.

I’ve come to understand if I want to get back to this natural state of peace, I just need to let go of my habitual, negative thinking and stop reacting so quickly to memory triggers, which often lead me to assume the worst, while trying to guess the outcome, or find a solution to, a problem I ‘thought’ I had with someone or a situation I was concerned about.

For many years I tried really hard not to over-react to, or take offence from other people’s behaviour I considered  wrong. Now having discovered a new understanding that only people who are hurting, hurt others, and reminding myself that with our unique thinking, we all live in a different perception of the world, and that most likely theirs is a more frightening or troubled version than mine.

This has made it growingly easier for me to respond in a more compassionate way, leading to nicer interactions with family, friends and even strangers throughout my day.

Over the years I have completed many holistic, spiritual growth and self-improvement courses, along with reading many insight-provoking books by authors from all around the world. A misunderstanding I was hearing a lot, was about controlling your thoughts, by using affirmations or changing negative thoughts to positive ones as quickly as possible.

While this sometimes worked, I found it really hard to maintain, or sustain for long periods, leaving me to feel disappointed in myself and exhausted from the effort.

It was through the understanding of what Sydney Banks describes in his many talks and books, that I realised I had been trying to achieve the impossible.

He explains how thoughts are transient energy, coming and going through our minds, and how we are not responsible for them. It is only when we expand on them by making meaning of them, that they become movie like stories we believe and feel to be real, often causing us a lot of unnecessary worry.

He went on to explain how when we find ourselves stuck in worrying thoughts, simply coming back into the present moment and allowing our thoughts to settle, allows for new thought to flow again.

While this sounded too easy to be true, over the next few days I caught myself trapped in worrying thinking, and he was right, once I became aware of where my mind was leading me, I got quiet, the thought storms in my head settled, and I soon felt a sense of calmness rise from within me.

As I am gaining a better understanding of the principle of thought, and the thinking it can trigger in me, I now let my thoughts flow more freely. Realising I no longer have to stay stuck in my thinking, trying to find solutions to any perceived problems I usually would have ruminated over in the past.

I have also found by untangling from my worrying thoughts, it allows space for a creative or clarifying insight to either resolve what’s bothering me, or for the realisation that the problem is only in my imagination.

I’ve also come to see that like our thoughts, our moods change often too. Seeing now that when I am in a low mood, I am more likely to have anxious, fear based thoughts.

In the past I would have reacted to this kind of thinking with negative self-talk, criticising and berating myself for not being more positive, or for not being grateful enough for all the good things I had in my life.

Also, I started to notice how much I could get lost in insecure thoughts when in a low mood, finding myself questioning my abilities, or a decision I had made while in a more positive mood. Suddenly seeing it as a bad idea, or creating imaginary obstacles that often held me back from doing something new, sabotaging any creative ideas that required me to step outside of my comfort zone.

Now that I better understand the nature of the human experience, I realise our moods are a natural part of it too, also understanding that like thought, it’s not something I can always control.

During these low times I am now gentler on myself knowing it will pass, and I no longer take my insecure thoughts seriously during these times.

I’ve also become more aware of how something as simple as hearing a song I love on the radio, or coming across a funny clip on Facebook, or simply quietening my mind, can suddenly lift my mood.

And while my external circumstances are all still the same, they suddenly don’t seem anywhere near as troubling, especially the higher my mood gets. My impending-doom like thoughts and feelings are soon replaced by better feeling ones, leading me back to that space of calm. peace, and love, innate in all.

I liken this to a cloudy summers day, understanding the sun is always there and at any moment the clouds will shift, allowing us to feel the warmth of the sun again.

If you would like to work with me to explore this further, consider contacting me at [email protected] to book a free discovery call.

Thanks for reading,

Namaste– I honour the place in you, in which the entire universe resides. I honour the place in you, of love, of light, of truth and of peace. And when you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, there is only one of us.

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