Overcoming perfectionism: Finding Joy and Freedom through the Three Principles.
At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success. — Michael Law
Perfectionism is a pervasive mindset that many struggle with, stemming from the belief that only flawless efforts deserve credit.
Being afraid of failure or being ridiculed held me back so much in the past that I missed out on countless opportunities.
I spent years struggling with self-doubt and fear, but once I started examining my fears more closely, I realised that the source of my anxiety was being created from inside my mind.
Perfectionism is a form of self-criticism that can cause us to hold unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others, leading to feelings of inadequacy and shame.
Though the desire to do well is admirable, going to extremes can cause unnecessary stress and robs us of the joy in life.
Perfectionism can manifest in different ways, such as setting unreachable goals, obsessing about details, fear of failure, self-doubt, and procrastination.
Learned behaviour or coping mechanism
It often stems from a learned behaviour or the coping mechanism developed to manage the inner turmoil associated with complex trauma.
Left unaddressed, it can hold us back from experiencing the richness of life and relationships.
Being caught up and trying to be seen as perfect can leave us feeling unhappy and unfulfilled, affecting all areas of our lives, including healthy relationships with others.
The rise of social media and our tendency to compare ourselves to others have heightened this problem.
Social media pressures and unrealistic standards portrayed in the virtual world only fuel perfectionism.
The Three Principles
The principles of Mind, Consciousness, and Thought, introduced by the late Sydney Banks, offer a route to overcoming perfectionism and finding freedom.
When we understand that our fearful feelings stem from our thoughts about how we should be, we begin to relax.
We realise that what others think of us doesn’t define our personal success.
Instead, we can begin to experience the present moment and prioritise focusing on the things we enjoy, rather than dwelling on what went wrong or what still needs improvement.
Through the three principles, we discover that our thoughts create our experiences of life.
By embracing the process of learning and growth, we can let go of the unrealistic expectations that feed our perfectionism.
This understanding encourages us to value progress instead of perfection because mistakes become opportunities to learn and grow.
In conclusion, overcoming perfectionism through the three principles enables individuals to live more fulfilled lives.
Understand that your thoughts determine how you feel, and that you do not need others’ approval.
Overcoming perfectionism can go a long way in fostering healthy relationships with others as well as leading healthy relationships with yourself.
You can read more about how we feel what we are thinking here
Namaste- I honour the place in you in which the entire universe resides. I honour the place in you, of love, of light, of truth, and peace. When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, there is only one of us.
Good blog post Angela,
I like when you said “We realise that what others think of us doesn’t define our personal success.”
This is super important and freeing. Then I was ‘thinking’ on this further and at some point in the past I realised I really don’t know what anyone else is thinking about me or anything else. I make it all up and try to remind myself to turn it around when I fall into ‘they think this and that’ NO, it is I who is thinking this and that… move along – and then it passes quickly.